I just made out with a guy for $7.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
