Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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