Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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