I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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