I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
