K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
