she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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