We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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