We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
