You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
