and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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