If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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