My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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