If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
