my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
