i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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