Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
