I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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