I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My cat gives me a boner
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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