I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
