Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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