I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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