I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
