all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
