I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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