I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The best revenge is premature balding
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
