i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
