Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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