its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
