its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
COCAINE IS GR8
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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