been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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