I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
