quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
