I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
