i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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