....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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