we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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