My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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