That's intense
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
