Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
