Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
