I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
3 2 1 whiskey
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
