I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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