Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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