you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
