I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
