Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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