goodnight i made you a song goodbye
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
