Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
