WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
