what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
