Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
