just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
