The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
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